The change (lack thereof)

Today marks one week since I set my feet back on Brazilian territories. Although I am certainly glad to be home, there are some things that are making me a bit uneasy. You know, when you spend one year in a different place, it is almost like you are under some kind of metamorphosis, both physically and psychologically. However, once you breathe the air of your homeplace, you notice that it did not change. At all.

This bothers me. I don’t know exactly why, but I was expecting changes in the environment where I lived and in the people who were around, but I was surprised to realize that, apart from some external tweaks and a bit of growing old, people and things are essentially the same. Is a year too short to create shifts or transformations? I think maybe it depends on the kind of changes we want to see. Maybe I’m biased.

Yesterday I heard something that really resonated with me: I was told that, when you have this kind of trial (an exchange), when you go back home, you start to see things from the outside, as if you were looking inside an open box. And that is exactly how I feel, it is almost like an out-of-body experience. But I do wonder if I have really changed or if it is just an illusion.

I am known to be somewhat volatile when it comes to settling. Heck, I even completely went from being an environmental engineer to pursuing a career in Astrophysics. Transformations are a part of me, I feel, which is a bit weird. Problem is that this behavior can disrupt relationships very easily, and make people unhappy. Should I care? This is a serious question, not completely rhetorical.

Anyway, everything that was hovering my mind for the last days is covered in this post. To compensate for a short post, I leave you with a somewhat related, but incredibly insightful response from Mike Rowe (you know, that guy from Dirty Jobs) to a person who was wondering about their career. He states that, instead of looking for a dream job, we should take any chance to find something to do, regardless of how far it would be from being the “right” job.

With that, I beg you to keep on changing!

Stars change over the course of their lives (albeit it takes millions or billions of years). Illustration: NASA/CXC/M.Weiss
Stars change over the course of their lives (albeit it takes millions or billions of years). Illustration: NASA/CXC/M.Weiss
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The change (lack thereof)

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